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How I Healed the Holes in My Soul!

As an Inter-Faith (All Faiths) Minister I started looking at the world one day and wondering why so many people are taking their own life.  People well known and not so well known, people who, on the outside, look like they have it all but on the inside really did not have it all but were empty and in pain, and the only way out was to take their own life.

It got me thinking about my own life and I too have reached the point, several times in my life, where I said it’s just too hard to go on, it’s just too much…  Through God’s grace I have endured and learned to “heal the holes” in my soul.  Though I still have my bad times, they are not as bad as they once were, don’t last as long as they used to or take me to the “poison” in my soul, I learned there are ways through the bad times, and I don’t have to be a victim anymore.


This is my story, a man who went from having “holes” in his soul to being ”whole” again.  I sincerely hope there are some tools in this book that help you on your journey in this game we called life.  Whatever you are going through, don’t give up, there is always hope, there is always God. God will find a way where there appears to be no way. God has not given up on you, so you don’t give up on yourself. I healed the holes in my soul and so can you!

       Table of Contents                   


PART I –   How I Got This Way

Chapter 1:      My Childhood                                                              

PART II –   The Feelings and Emotions


Chapter 2:      God, Where the Hell Were You!                                 


Chapter 3:      Your Feelings Will Wait…


Chapter 4:      Pain is Pain, just the Wrapper is Different


Chapter 5:      Loneliness, Lonely, Alone…


Chapter 6:      I’m Less Than…          


Chapter 7:      Pain, Anger and Sorrow       


Chapter 8:      I Have Seen the Darkness – Many, Many Times…


Chapter 9:      Depression         

Chapter 10:    Shame               


Chapter 11:    Rage!!!           


Chapter 12:    Addiction – My Crutch to Never Healing


Chapter 13:    I Fooled the World but Was Only Fooling Myself…


Chapter 14:    Meet My Longtime Companion – Suicide   


PART III – Recovery and Rebuilding


Chapter 15:    Adulthood          


Chapter 16:         I’m Not Damaged or Broken     


Chapter 17:         Breaking the Chains of Pain     


Chapter 18:         Wholeness and “Hole-ness”     


Chapter 19:         Healing                             


Chapter 20:         Forgiveness                


Chapter 21:         All You Need is Love       


Chapter 22:         The Animal Kingdom       


Chapter 23:         Mother Nature         


Chapter 24:         Gratitude            

Chapter 25:         The Spirituality of Suicide –
The Spiritual Law of Karma and Other Spiritual Realities                           

Chapter 26:         Discovering Our Life’s Purpose –
The Journey Within                       


Chapter 27:         God Will Help Us                  


Conclusion – It’s Not the End It’s a New Beginning  
Resources: Prayers, Meditations, Exercises   





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We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800- 273- 8255

Paramus, New Jersey 07652 U.S.A.